And With No Robes On
by Bronsted-Lowry Base
Summary: “H-Harry, are you sure about this?” “Ron, where is your Gryffindor spirit you always seem so fond of always reminding me you have?” “Gone, along with my robes Harry.” A crack oneshot fic.


Rain: a one shot, more of a drabble and what not. Crack maybe I suppose.

"H-Harry, are you sure about this?"

"Ron, where is your Gryffindor spirit you always seem so fond of always reminding me you have?"

"Gone, along with my robes Harry."

"Yes-well. It's not that big of a deal anyways. Who needs robes?"

"I DO!"

"You have pants."

"_Had_ pants Harry, I had them until you ripped them off me."

"Pants don't matter Ron."

"You're only saying that to make yourself feel better about ripping yours in your hurry too. I told you we should have taken our time."

"Okay okay. I see your point, now, let's just relax and take our time with this…"

"Stop doing that."

"What?!"

"That! What you just did!"

"…I have no idea _what_ you are talking about Ron. None what so ever."

"Bloody Hell Harry. Stop doing that!"  
"Doing WHAT?"

"_That_. That-shoosh. You know, 'Shoosh~"

"…You mean-stop trying to imitate me Ron- running my hand though my hair?"

"YES!"

"Why? It's not bothering anyone."

"See you did it again, you're nervous. You're not sure we should do this either."  
"I'm not nervous!"

"Yes you are Harry, that's a bloody habit of yours, every time you get nervous or even a little frustrated, it's always 'Shoosh~"

A sigh.

"Dammit Ron, of course I'm nervous. It's my first time after all."

"See? I told you we should have taken our time."

"No Ron, I'm fine now. See?"

"Harry-"

"Ron, are you nervous?

"NO! I AM NOT!"

"…right. It's alright Ron. Just let me take the lead."

"Why? You just said it's your first time too."

"Yes, but well- dammit, will you just let me?"

"O-Okay…I suppose, it's not supposed to hurt is it?

"No, Ron. It's not."

"But Harry~, you're too big. You won't fit.

"Ron, it'll be fine. I promise it won't hurt."

"Fine, we do it once. Just to get it over with and then never speak of this again."

"George and Fred better enjoy this…"

"I'm sure they will. They seem to have a tad of a sadistic side."

"Oh, they do."

A deep breath.

Pounding heart beats.

"The whole school is going to find out eventually, everyone will know."

"……….."

"………Oh just go. We need to get this over with. The faster the better."

"Oh, so now you're in a hurry."

"Don't start."

"Hey, it was your fault in the first place."

"Harry, I had no bloody idea it was going to end up, us in a dark passage way to the nearest wizarding village, robeless, pantless and nervous recks."

"Right. Sorry Ron."

"It-it's okay-Just! Just start already!"  
Harry began.

"Ah!"

"W-what?"

"It's tight!"

"Wait, let me move so it can help you…"

"Ah! Ron!"

"Hah…hah…hah"

Panting.

"It's so tight!"

"I know Harry! You're a lot bigger than before."

"Well, people grow up Ron."

"Yeah…I know"

"AH!~"

Ron grinned. "There! You're completely through."

"Okay! Your turn now Ron. Hurry before anyone sees."

"O-okay. "

"Ron! Are you okay?"

"Well, I am bigger than you Harry. It's an even tighter fit!"

"Well, just let me pull harder."

"AH! Ouch! Watch what you're doing!"

"Sorry! Are you okay?"

"Ugh, sure."

"Okay, we're through, now. Are you ready? This is going to be the hardest part."

"going out in Public?"

"Yes."

"Ready to Run?"

"Don't really want to but Fred and George would never let us hear the end of it."

"You're mum is going to kill us."

"Definatly. But maybe in a couple of years, we'll look back at his and laugh."

"Or chuckle awkwardly and quickly change the subject."

"Thanks mate."

"Sorry"

And with that Ron and Harry ran away from the small opening of the tunnel that was from Hogwarts to the wizarding village. In their underwear. And finally all the way back to school to were hundreds of students were waiting along with a grinning Fred and George with a wizarding camera In their hands. Really, this whole thing could have been avoided. Harry learned that it is better to just never bet the against the twins with Ron. Ever, even if it is for the Chudley Cannons. Because they will lose every time.

Oh? What? You thought something else was happening?

Oh you dirty perverts, you~.

Rain Karami is proud.

Hope you enjoyed this one shot, crack fic. Wrote this in about 20 min, at around 12:3~ to 12:50 something.

PLEASE REVIEW!


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